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• Boundaries — Set clear and consistent guidelines and limits for acceptable behaviour with toxic people. Let them know how you will respond if they cross these boundaries and consistently reinforce these consequences when they do so.
• Clean Up Rule — Do allow the toxic person to clean up their messes and deal with the external consequences of their actions. You are only responsible for cleaning up your messes, not theirs.
• Emotional Intelligence — Do work on effectively understanding, recognising and regulating your own emotions, and develop empathy and social skills in dealing with the toxic person’s feelings without fixing their problems for them.
• Get Support — Do find supportive people who are likely to empathise with you and understand what you are going through. If they understand mental illness, personality disorders and toxic people, it will be more likely that they will give you the support you need.
• Journaling — Do write down whatever you are thinking and feeling about the toxic person and your relationship or troubles with them. If you can do this without censoring yourself, taking a break or worrying about what you are writing, then it can be even more therapeutic. If you can keep this in a safe place, do so, otherwise delete it or dispose of it in a way that is unlikely to be seen by the toxic person.
• Make Good Choices — Do devote your energy focusing on what is under your control and the steps you can take. It can reduce stress a lot.
• Medium Chill — Try to disengage through distraction, relaxation, meditation, and other arousal-reducing strategies if direct contact with the toxic person or their behaviours is unavoidable.
• My Stuff/Their Stuff — Do clearly define and remind yourself what is your concern (“my stuff”) and what is the toxic person’s concern (“their stuff”), regardless of what they say to you.
• No Contact — Do think about going “No Contact” and cutting off all forms of correspondence and contact with a toxic person if they are consistently not respecting your boundaries and consequences. No one deserves abuse, and this cannot take place if there is no contact or communication.
• Personal Safety — Do keep a list of actions that you can follow to prevent situations from escalating into verbal, emotional or physical abuse. It will help if you put this in place as soon as any form of violence happens. First, try to stop the conversation, secondly, try to leave the room or the area, and thirdly call the police.
• Put Children First — Do make decisions based on what is in the best interests of the children. Their needs and especially their safety and protection from abuse must come first.
• Therapy — Do seek help if you are struggling to protect yourself or emotionally detach from the toxic people in your life. Therapy can also help if you want to learn more about yourself or build up other skills and capacities in your life (assertiveness, self-esteem, compassion etc.).
• Work on Yourself — Do allocate time, energy and focus for yourself so that you can restore a good sense of balance with work, leisure, personal growth and socialising regardless of what the toxic person does.

If you are interested in reading more about this, I recommend checking out the Out of the FOG website. The book ‘Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You’ by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier is also helpful